Клуб Любителей Секса (КЛС): Вот такой алгоритмик....

...на Паскале...
Осталось только отладить ;)

Program SexSession;
Uses Vine, Zakus, Condoms;
{$I Variable.Pas}
Procedure Prepare;
Begin
____Find(House);
____Buy(Bottles);
____Buy(Zakus);
____Call(Friends);
____Call(Girls);
End;{ Prepare }
Procedure Drinks;
Begin
____Open(Bottles);
____Repeat
________Drink(Next(Gramms100));
________Zakus:=Eat(Next(Foods));
____Until TwoViewInEyes;
End;{ Drinks }
Procedure Dances;
Begin
____Music:=True;
____Call(OneGirl);
____Go(DancingRoom);
____With Music.Jump Do Begin
________If Girl(Drink)>Normal(Drink) Then
____________Begin
________________Touch(AssOfGirl);
________________Touch(BrestOfGirl);
____________End
________Else
____________Begin
________________Go(DrinkingRoom);
________________Let`s(Girl):=Drinks(More);
________________Return(DancingRoom);
____________End;
____End;
End;{ Dances }
Procedure Fuck( Who : Sex );
Var
____HowMany: LongInt;
Begin
____If WhoGirl Then Write('Are yor sodomite ??!');
____Find(DarkRoom);
____Close(Door_and_windows);
____If Not Find(BedInRoom) Then BedInRoom:=AnyTable;
____HowMany:=0;
____Repeat
________Call(Next(Who));
________Delete(DressOf(Who));
________Kiss(Lips,Brest,OtherPartsOfBody);
________Repeat
____________Asm
________________PUSH YourPenis
________________POP YourPenis
____________End;
________Until YouHaveOrgasm;
________Case HowMany of Inc(HowMany);
________If (HowMany mod 15 = 0) then Write('You are BIG man !!!');
____Until YourPenisStay;
End;{ Fuck }
Begin { Party - Main Program }
____Prepare;
____Drinks;
____If Who(Drink)>Normal(Drink) Then Who:=FaceDown;
____Dances;
____Fuck(Girls);
____Go(AtHomes);
End.{ Main Program }

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